lost

The birds are singing and while it is chilly, it is worth having the windows open. The first morning here, a western meadowlark woke us at six. Since then we have seen pheasants, sand hill cranes, robins, magpies, flickers, and birds I have yet to identify. We are back in Two Dot and it is time for intakes of breath, for long-lasting gazes, for taking in before putting out.

I am reading Rebecca Solnit’s A Field Guide to Getting Lost. She refers to a quote from Meno, “How will you go about finding that thing the nature of which is totally unknown to you?” It doesn’t seem like a completely impossible task here. Reading about getting lost inspired me to consult my Visual Thesaurus subscription, a gift from Lynnette who also believes in the power of words and understanding their meanings. As all of the synonyms for lost circled into view I was surprised to realize I hadn’t thought of the Christian reference… a counter to being saved – unregenerate. But Solnit is interested in a type of being lost that removes the prefix “un”: unsaved, unredeemed, un-recoverable. All of these words suggest preferable states that cannot be achieved. In fact the thesaurus lists few references that don’t have a negative undertone but amongst the prefixes un, miss, dis. I found be…bemused, bewildered, befuddled. Be means completely, thoroughly, deeply absorbed in. I like the suggestion of humor in these three words. And I am wondering, can I be searching, getting lost, and amused all at the same time?